A Realization

that there are so many sources and people who inspire me to be creative and to find my path eventually. i really do owe it to them:

susan: who encourages me to fill out bunch of applications, one of them would work out, it'll be of my interest

marion: often forceful and controlling, but all her efforts to help me out in this otherwise difficult life, truly inspires me to work with others

ted.com, royden: ken robinson's video on education, to study on my own before i immerse myself back in school (which will be: a. costly, b. possibly confuse me even more)

michael: his constant pursuit for staying creative, his path in creativity, his consideration for others and love of outdoors

ma: making things work in not-so-ideal situations

alison: encouraging me, helping me to look for sources

and there are many more, i can't just keep complaining about how i may be less fortunate others. because for the same amount, i am more fortunate than others.

learning from ted.com through elizabeth gilbert's thoughts on creativity

do my job

my genius, as a separate entity distant from my body, relieving my desperation in succeeding, of pressuring to be inspired, "the inherent emotional risks of creativity"

keep showing up, keep doing my job!

오늘

왠지 보고싶다.

다른사람이 있다해도.

우리 함께했던 그 시간들

작아지진 않았고, 작아지지 않길.

정말 누굴 그렇게 좋아해 본 적 없어. 뒤돌아봐도.

앞으로 본다. 이제는 또 다르길 바라며.

마지막 약속 했던데로 한 십년은 앞으로 못 볼거야.

그 때 쯤이면 나도 다른 누구와 행복하길.

다시는 서로 사랑하지 않길.

Current Options

first of all, i'm still waiting for my citizenship interview date. when is it going to be. i'm actively waiting everyday. actively.

1. peace corps. put away the next two years in an obscure town of another country. "contribute" to the world. in the meantime, figure out my next move.

2. korea. 6 months - 1 year. teach english, get in touch with my root, see friends family.

3. spain. teach english. see myself in another world.

things to be done before i have any of the choices above:

citizenship, financial (loans, etc.), gre

i was hoping making this list will help me see my future a bit more clearly. not really.

Future Holds

i don't want to be mediocre at anything that comes my way.

so I'm afraid. to start something new.

much more is there to be prepared in my head. instead of plunging. am i cowardly?

told you, i am afraid to move forward, i am afraid to stand still.